Thinking of You - Thinking of Me?

There's something I've been wanting to blog aboot fer a bit, but it's been taking a while to gel enough in my head to do so.

 I realized a while ago, that the things I think about my self and judge my self on, are typically things that I would judge others on, also.  For instance, I was sort'a  obsessed with thinking that I was stupid for a very long time and as such, seeing a lot of the 'stupid' in others. Which came first?  Did I start looking for others being dumb, just to make me feel better?  Or did my view of my own stupidity color how I saw the world?  I think they sort'a fed off of each other.

 So, this was a while ago; i've been pretty confident and see the great in most people for the past few years.  For some reason, though, this old 'lesson' keeps coming up in my mind the last couple of weeks...It would seem I have something more to learn from it.

If you're familiar with the whole "mirror neuron" stuff (i think it was a big part of What the Bleep? also, and I Know a bunch'a y'all seen that ;), it makes a lot of sense.  This is the stuff where watching somebody performing an action, fires many of the same neurons as if we were actually performing the action ourselves.  So, quite a lesson to be learned: We view other's actions, as if it were us performing them.

 Ever been embarrassed for somebody else?  I know for me it's been sometimes nearly Painful to watch somebody on a TV show or Movie or whatever, going through an embarrassing situation...Embarrassed FOr them.  As if I were doing it myself? Hmm...

There's this interesting social-conflict in my office...This one guy that I always thought was cool, and tried to get know more, but he seriously doesn't like me at all.  At All!  I talked to him about it once, and he said something like "Well, I think we're just too similar to like each other."  Interesting...

 There's this thing in Artificial Intellingence theory called the "Uncanny Valley".  It basically saysls that the more life-like an artificial thing is, the creepier it seems.  Ever seen Shrek 2?  For me, it was totally  like this. The computer-animated characters were so real-like..that it creeped me out a bit.  The closer we relate to something, the more of our brain fires like it was us...But it's still off so much, that we get an odd odd sensation.  Creepy.

 So, I think this is why some people used to seem amazing to me.  They were just so "different" that I could appreciate them as seperate.   Kind of the whole "star struck" type thing; I don't try to compare them to my self at all.   Of course, nowadays I'm fully aware that we're all just people playing different roles.. I think it's why people related to the American president Bush so well.  He's so far from us, but still really dumb like anybody.

I think this has a lot to do with jealousy and such... Brain's firing like it was me in a particularly beneficial situation...but it's not, and so there's the anxious feeling.  I also think it explains stuff like claustrophobia, where you're thinking your brain into firing like there's all this room, but there's not, so there's anxiety.

Um, maybe getting off on a tangent here...Back to others.

 So, it would seem, from the "mirror neuron" type angle... We think of others, what we would think of ourselves in their situation.  I notice this a lot with those pretty girls that don't realize they're pretty... They seem to either:

 A) Make fun of other girls. Therefore, when they view themselves, they view what they would think of somebody else..and since they would think mean thoughts of them, they think mean thoughts of themselves.  Kind of a thinking of me thinking of me.

B) Percieve girls that they think of as "pretty" as completely seperate from themselves. On a pedestal.  No neuronal firing when looking at themselves 

I have a friend in my martial arts class that I've noticed causes emotions to well up.  I see him trying something, and I think "Gah, he's doing it all wrong!  He probably thinks he's right, too..."  but really...I'm thinking of if it were me performing that action.  First of all, I'd be doing it "wrong", so I'd be dissappointed in me...and second, if I didn't think I was wrong, I'd probably think I was right.  OOooo, the nerve!!!!

 Anyway, I'm trying to hurry, cause now it's late. I'm heading to do some camping over the weekend!  Whoooohooo, spring is here!  So I'm sorry if this didn't end up making sense.  It's really long, but really...all I wanted to get accross was the thought I've been having lately, that... I'm realizing that what I  think of others, is (like literally) DIRECTLY connected to what I think of myself.  It wasn't until I started noticing the intelligence in others, that I could appreciate it in my self.   I start seeing it in myself, it helps with noticing it in others.  It's a duality, an important brain function.  

 If we can improve our thoughts of others, the thoughts of ourselves will improve. And vice versa.  So, I will try to "see the change in the world, that I want to see in myself?"  Yeah, that's my current theory, at least ;-)